Diary of Eternity

The Psychic I


Amritapuri, 21 March 2006

Today there was a visit to an internet café in Vallikavu, a small village at the other side of the backwaters. As a ferry to cross these backwaters the ashram had a motorised boat with roof which brought about every fifteen minutes people from one bank to the other.

Moored at the bank on Vallikavu side one took place in the middle of the boat at the waterside to await the crossing. At about fifteen meters distance at the front of the boat a petrol driven water pomp was throbbing.

In the back of the boat there was a mild English conversation between two men audible. It were peaceful voices in which the subject of conversation submerged into an insignificance.

In the sky the sun and the clouds seemed to be entangled in a playful fight to be allowed to show themselves to the earthly onlooker in their full nature of being. There were no winner and loser yet distinguishable. The light blue of the sky and the light grey of the thin but expansive clouds were almost of a same colour and were only distinguished by the vague border of the white woolly cloud edges. The sun broke through the thin clouds only half and the thin clouds also veiled the sun only half.

Regardless the effortless effort of sun and cloud, the attention mainly went to the rippling water near the boat. With silver sparkles on the ripples at the surface the transparency of the water faded into an untransparent sober colour that carried in itself elements of brown, grey and green.

In this water floated innumerable jellyfish as free celestial bodies in space. There was an amazement and a delight about their wonderful form of life. With their spherical and rhythmical contracting top, trunk in the middle, and a set of eight short stump tentacles with attached to that long thin wires, they seemed like mushrooms that had exchanged their motionless life in the woods for a flamboyant dance in the briny water. Still they were incomparably unique in their nature and appearance.

Their colours were as wonderful as their form. The spherical top was white and semi transparent. Some had on the spherical top many black-brown dots, some had only a few of these dots, and some moved through the water in spotless white. The trunk was often coloured in a semi transparent and light sky-blue and their gracious and rhythmical dance through the water made them true blue-white veiled water princesses.

Besides their wonderful beauty however these water princesses showed more. An insight in the human psyche was in their gracious dance revealed.

From the untransparent depth of the water they arose into the transparent surface to, after some moments of visibility, disappear again into the untransparent depth. Equally do the by the psyche registered knowledge and experience sink from the transparent consciousness into the depth of the untransparent unconsciousness, to arise from there again on time and place as thoughts and emotions.

Thus innerly witnessing arose from the depth unexpectedly a large and spotless white jellyfish. She had a volume and size that had not been perceived before, and her special presence made the rest of the jellyfish disappear to the background. She was the psychic I. The I awareness. The mother and queen of all thoughts. Lying at the bottom of all psychic processes she is present in every experience and in every emotion and thought.

Thus showing this given in an appearing and in some moments of presence, she disappeared eventually again in the untransparent depth, there to take her place again as keeper on the threshold. The threshold to an awareness of beyond the psyche, where the I loses itself in the void of being.